Self-Care in the Middle of Upheaval

These are difficult days, full of anger, frustration, powerlessness, and for many genuine indignation. We’re trying to keep up with fast moving political change. Irregardless of where you fall on the whole political spectrum, chances are you’re overwhelmed, tense, and more drained than normal.

Sunday morning I took John to the airport and when I got home, I went back to bed and slept for four hours. I was exhausted. I haven’t been that tired in ages.

I’m off and on Facebook, Twitter, and reading the news trying to decide what’s real, what’s fake, and how I’m supposed to respond. It’s overwhelming! It can be scary and unsettling.

Here are some ideas for self-care and sustainability:

Take care of yourself. Feed your soul, tend to your daily life, and don’t forget to appreciate the beauty of the day you’re living.

Yesterday I got home from teaching Spanish so stressed out. High. Strung.

Lucas and I went on a walk with the dog, where we mostly chatted about nothing important and enjoyed the cool evening air.

Later, I made pasta with their favorite noodles, lit a few nice smelling candles, and pulled out one of my favorite Madeleine L’engle books from the shelf. I sat in my office for an hour, turned off all social media, the news, and all other sounds and chose to read a peaceful book. It was a book I’ve read before, but not for a long time. At the end of that hour, I felt exponentially better.

Plan something life-giving for your near future: Don’t let the doom and gloom of this season steal your life from you. Pick something you can do to invest in your future and your family’s future. This spring I am going to plant a garden. We’ve drawn up plans, talked about the vegetables we think we’ll eat, and organized our money. It’s a bit of a bigger deal where I live because of the deer. We have to build a tall fence. One of my friends bought a puppy. She wants something playful and hopeful to help her to cope with all the stress of everything. Good for her.

Get outside. Go on walks. Breathe in fresh air. Just one walk a day will relieve your stress. I live on Lake Joy which is a lovely, quiet lake in Carnation, Washington. It is 2.2 miles and a very nice walk. It takes me about thirty to forty minutes to walk it. I sometimes go alone, sometimes John and I get to walk it together, and sometimes one of the kids comes along. Walking that lake is one of the best ways to remember that the sun will keep rising and setting whether I pass geometry or not … as Anne Shirley put it.

Cultivate Friendships: Irregardless of where anyone is in the middle of all this upheaval, it’s important to nurture real and sustainable friendships. Take time in your life to have coffee or wine with an old friend. Call a friend just to check on him or her and make sure she/he is doing all right. Nothing political. Just sharing and caring. John and I went out with friends on Saturday night and had a blast. Yes, we talked some about politics, but we also talked about the shape of our personal Christian Practices, how our children are doing, and we talked about house projects. In particular, for my activist friends … don’t forget to just enjoy your friendships once in a while and remember how much they matter to you.

Save the World … Remember that most of the time it’s everyday, small ordinary acts that keep this world beautiful and meaningful. Have a sit down dinner with your children and ask them to light the candles and tell you who they want to pray for. Read your favorite Psalm before bed or in the early morning. Give someone who really annoys you a small gift, as a tangible act that you see their value even if they drive you crazy. (I actually did this very one the other day and it changed everything about the relationship I have with one of the my students.) Anonymously buy someone coffee in the line behind you. Smile at a neighbor and wave when they’re driving by.

Pray. I started teaching this Spanish class at the high school near my house. Three weeks of early mornings. My own kids are having to get themselves to the bus this week on their own, which sort of breaks my heart. I’m there when they get home, but they have to get out the door on their own for me to take this job and it’s hard. Some of the students were difficult to manage and intimidating. I found that I would much rather have buried my head in the sand than taught Spanish … but here I am. I pray all the way to work asking God to help me, to give me thoughtful eyes, to help me treat the students like they’re real people and that they matter. I pray for my kids as they get ready in the morning and as they go about their day. I ask God to be present to them. John is in Kentucky this week for a Covenant class and so I pray for him. For God to help him sleep, to make good connections… I have friends and really dear people in my life who are refugees from the blacklisted countries and they’re just downright afraid. I pray for them. That they will not be afraid, that they will be granted a tender peace from God and courage to hold their heads high.

I realize prayer is subjective and anti-formulaic, and that God is difficult to manage. It’s still the best I’ve got. It’s what I’ve built my life on … I’ve lived by faith in the God who loves me, who knows my name, and is radically on my side and who promises to never leave me or forsake me … despite some very sketchy situations that spoke to the exact contrary …. once again, it’s what I’ve got. I realize some of you are so burned out on, and so pissed off at religious institutions, you’re mad I’d even mention prayer. I get that and I’m sorry. I would only say that the God to whom I pray is on the side of smoldering wicks and bruised reeds.

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