Hearing from God

It’s not a surprise to anyone, but I’m going to write it anyways. I’m a Christian. I’m one of those Bible reading, pray-on-your-knees sorts of people, who have the most varied reputations around the world. We are loved and we are hated and in some places barely tolerated. The very word Christian is loaded. We are responsible for some of the great good all over the globe, and conversely also the greatest harm across history. I’ve been a Christian for most of my life. I even worked in full-time Christian ministry for over a decade. Consequently, I’ve been part of the some of that world-wide good and I’m sure I’ve also regrettably taken part in some of the things that harm our reputation.

I’ve been fairly quiet about my faith on this blog, mainly because I don’t like to trivialize something so dear and precious to me, or be misunderstood. Not everyone likes Christians. Frankly, I don’t always like us. We can be arrogant and very obstinate about our particular take on some big mysterious truths in this Universe. However, for better or for worse, I am part of a religious family, one I love most dearly – and after much deliberation, I’ve decided to talk about it here, on this blog more regularly.

After my visit to the States in November, someone asked me if I would be willing to write about the process in which I learned to hear God’s voice. I floundered around trying to figure out where and how to share about the topic. I thought about writing a book about it and using a pen name (very honest and proud of my faith ) – I’ve wobbled around trying to stay right in the middle. Not talk too much about God on this blog, but talk enough that I was still being sort of honest. As a practicing Christian, I’ve finally concluded that if I’m going to claim to be something, I’d better be bold and honest about it rather than ashamed and timid about it.

My purpose in this is not to convince anyone anything or make some weird attempt to coerce people into some sort of conversion. That’s not my way. However, over the years, I’ve come to the deep abiding conclusion that God is good, is present in this mysteriously beautiful and painful world, and that he loves me, and shows it most tenderly and consistently in the person of Jesus Christ.

After many hours of prayer – in my chair and bed, not on my knees – I’ve decided I’d like to talk about this said faith – here. What I share about my experience with God might, from time to time intersect with what God is doing in your life, it might shed light on your own personal journey, or it might seriously piss you off. (I apologize in advance for that.)

Here’s the thing: After twenty years of listening to God tell me things and make promises and then keeping them and utterly changing my life from the inside out, I’ve come to see and know and believe that there is no kinder voice, no stronger assurance to one’s soul, no better relationship to invest in. I would cross oceans, climb mountains, and forge rivers to hear and be with Jesus if even for a few minutes… I would do this because I love him…

What I’ve come to believe in the core, bone-deep part of me is that God, the one who made earth and sky and sea, knows my name and wants me to know his. And he is radically on my side. And part of that knowing is learning to recognize and discern what he is trying to say to me at my particular spot in the big wide world right now.

One of the things that gets in our way is the insidious belief that God is mad at us. I’ve seen it. I’ve watched people brace themselves when they hear God has something to say to them, or they hear a message about listening to God. It’s like the natural tendency is to believe that if God is going to say something it’s going to be about my bad stuff, the stuff I’m afraid to tell anyone else. That he’s ashamed of me, and if I were to do the hard work of settling down to listen, I’d get blasted with everything I’m not doing. And how I’ve disappointed him, shamed the family blah blah blah. May I just gently and tenderly say to you, dear reader – this is garbage. All of it. God is not mad at you. God is not waiting around the corner to make you feel bad about yourself.

Truth be told: God likes you. God is on your side. And God knows how to restore your soul, knows how to make you feel more at home with yourself and how to settle you into your one and only life. And I promise if you take the time to listen to him, to find him – God won’t be tell you you suck. That’s not God because He doesn’t say things like that.

So, after much thought and consideration – I’m going to write about Hearing God for the next few weeks. And then I’ll write about something else – maybe confession and forgiveness or something really easy like that. I still plan to write about life in Chile, and life in general, post pictures and things like that, but I’m adding this to the whole purpose of my blog.

This is the take away today, what I’d like to be clear on:

God talks. He’s personal. He’s all-consuming and life-giving and might I add, his is the voice I’ve spent most of my life learning to pay attention to, the voice that steadies me, rescues me, calms me, and most of all the voice I run toward.

Much Love,

Tina