It’s hard to make difficult decisions. We hem and haw, lose sleep, ponder, go over the benefits and the costs, we pray, we worry, and mull, worry some more. That’s how I’ve been for about a month. It has to do with my kids and education.
A year ago, we put the kids in one of the best private schools in Temuco. We chose private education for numerous reasons. Class size was a major issue for me. A lot of kids in public schools are in classes with 35 – 40 students. My kids would sink in a class that size. What I hadn’t planned on, is how different the philosophy of education is here. And I’ve struggled, prayed, struggled, and prayed some more over how to come to terms with it. I still haven’t come to any conclusions.
Right now, we can’t afford private education. We have to build our house and if we want to build a house, we need to free up some finances. And my kids were stressed. Stressed. Like Lucas wasn’t eating breakfast in the mornings from pure anxiety and would then go hungry for too long. Emma shared that she feels alone all day. Alone because she’s different and not all the kids are nice to her.
I’ve pushed them and asked far more from them than many people would ever ask of their kids, but I reached my limit. So, here’s the decision: we pulled them out of school for a semester. We’ve gathered together some Spanish materials and English materials and are going to let them decompress for the next six months and then look at it again in the summer.
Emma got out her paper and started a project on Hippos this morning and Lucas started one on Penguins. They haven’t done anything like that in months. Months, I tell you!
Today, my children are better, happier, fuller than I’ve seen in them in a very long time.
Sometimes the best answer is sitting right in front of us and if we take a deep breath, gather up our courage to go against the current, we’ll find we aren’t called to paddle upstream, but rather we’re called to go down a different stream altogether. One we might like much more. It’s just hard to get there, to get to the correct stream, because it’s not what we thought we’d do, or what our parents did, or what everybody else is doing. That’s okay. It really is. We need to look around us, ponder, open our little minds to different possibilities, and refuse to let fear take hold. Many decisions are made, or not made, out of sheer unadulterated fear. How will you know unless you try?
Once Rodrigo and I made the decision to pull the kids out of school, a peace settled over our entire household. Before we made the decision, in the waiting, in the deliberating we were all stressed out. Now, we’re calm. We have mixed feelings, yes. But, we’re excited. We feel a little more on top of our own lives. Not to mention we’ve freed up finances to start the foundation. I drove the carpenter to the property this very morning. He’s over there digging.
Decisions. What are some of your hardest but best decisions you’ve had to make? I would really love to hear.
Much Love,
Tina
I can’t be anything but thrilled for you to get to do this, if for a few months or a few years. Getting to learn great things alongside your kids is a highly underrated way to spend your time – its hard to imagine regretting spending MORE time with your children. I’m fairly sure I’ve never heard anyone say they wish they’d been with their kids less. They are only young once. And though some days we might wonder, these days pass fast and our incredible opportunity to impact their lives is one of the greatest privileges of motherhood.
This is such a good response. It’s interesting that Lucas said he missed us and wanted to spend more time with his mom and dad.
Clearly, changing countries is impacting them on many levels.
Thank you for your support.
What a lovely relief Tina! I am so glad Lucas and Emma are happy, discovering exciting new things about hippos and penguins, rather than feeling anxious, lonely, hungry and excluded.
In answer to your question, one of Bens and my hardest-but-best decisions was to pull our kids out of the utterly hideous school they went to when we first moved here, and put them into a lovely community-focused school, which involved commuting for up to 3 hours in horrid traffic a day for a year, and then moving right across town.
With love, and empathy in mothering,
Megs xoxox
This is so helpful. It means so much to know we are all in this together, trying to make the best decisions we can for our children.
And that it worked out. I have to remind myself, it will work out!
Choosing to “homeschool” Caleb this past year was a big hard decision. I really resisted because truthfully I don’t love teaching kids, especially ones that are hard work and emotionally draining and don’t like to do anything I enjoy doing. However, the funniest thing happened. We ended up ditching school after a failed month of class. What began as a journey to educate his mind ended up being an education of me choosing to let go of my expectations and for he and I to learn how to cope together in life. This year he has gained a control over his emotions I could not have foreseen and gained the language to verbalize those frustrations in a constructive way. We’ve learned how to unwind him from the ledge of crazy and more importantly I’ve learned how to love him as he is and not as I’d hoped he would be. 🙂 This year gave us both the confidence to face what is next…full-day Kindergarten in public school. Gulp! Another hard choice but he’s ready, we are ready. Its the stretch he needs to continue to grow and it will give me the break I need to then be a more compassionate mom when he needs me. We too faced the anxiety the month prior to deciding but once the decision was made and the forms turned in a peace settled over us all. We don’t know if this is the forever path for him or us but it is the next step. The next part of our journey <3 to you
This is so helpful for me. In particular, I like that you made the decision to do school this upcoming year …. We do the best we can and it ebbs and flows, doesn’t it?
I don’t know what we’ll do next year, but I have peace for today. Perhaps that’s all we can ask for… Peace for today.
Love you. Miss you.