Why does it have to happen on a Monday morning? Everything was smooth sailing yesterday. I bought the newspaper, read great articles, hung out with the kids, made fresh wheat bread, did laundry – they went to bed and we woke up – bam! Chaos. Emma can’t find her coat or her shoes, Lucas has another stomach ache that hits him almost every morning and with tears in his eyes he’s not sure he can get out of bed, and we can’t find his coat either. It’s cold in our house and I’m shivering, and getting more annoyed than is necessary over a lost jacket and missing shoes. But they cost money! And she’s always losing her stuff! And Lucas has a stomach ache, again and I don’t know what’s wrong with him.
And in the middle of all the chaos, I realized how fragile we are, how we’re hanging by a thread. How one thing or two things throws me for a loop and I wonder what the heck we’re doing here. Why we came. What the big adventure was really all about. And truth be told – It’s taken a toll on all of us – this picking-up-and-moving-to-another-country idea.
Lucas managed to get out of bed. Emma found her shoes, but still no jacket. I called a friend and asked if she’s seen it – she’s looking. The jacket is obligatory because it’s part of the uniform and is worth like $50.00. And I really don’t want to spend money on a new jacket right now. I’ll have a stomach ache if that happens.
I sat down to journal after I got home and it struck me – it’s been a year since we decided to move. One year. Last March we made the decision to pack up and come to Chile. Of course we’re fragile! We’re at the bottom of the world trying to gain our bearings, trying to figure out what the heck is going on here. And trying to figure out how to step, how to live here – with all the nuances and little differences that seem so big when you’re in the middle of understanding them.
Change and transition are chaotic, turbulent, and overwhelming … and take time and stamina to weather through the inevitable grief process and the lengthy time it takes to gain a sense of direction. But in the middle of all this – great things are taking place and I have to remember that. I have to hold on to the vision even in the middle of the chaos.
On Friday I went on a vineyard tour and had a wonderful day. Sunshine, good wine, rich and tasty food. And at the last house, which was quite palatial,
the owner of the beautiful vineyard and acres and acres of apple trees asked me if I wanted to speak English. We were two hours from the nearest city. I said yes and he introduced me to his daughter-in-law who is from Brighton, England. We had a delightful chat about life in Chile, education for our kids, and the common feelings of isolation. Hopefully, we’ll find time to get together. What a wonderful surprise, in the middle of transition and in the middle of nowhere.
I think one of the greatest privileges here is meeting all the incredible people, and getting to hear their stories. Chile was a country steeped in immigration. There are heaps of Germans who came here at the turn of the 20th century, the Spanish came for decades and decades, Italians, French, and English. Everyone has a story and everyone’s story compiles together and makes up this small nation filled with its own idiosyncrasies, unique food, culture, and character. It’s an honor to learn and grow here.
And the truth is… like it or not… Monday was just as chaotic in Bothell. Coats went missing, library books got lost, lunch money found places to sneak off to – chaos is part of raising a family.
And by going on that wine tour, I found the exact style I want for when we design our backyard …
Isn’t that a great wood walkway? I’d never have seen anything like that in Bothell! So there you go.
Chaos and joy, transition and change are all an integral part of our lives … and learning to accept them, accepting how fragile we are wherever we are is so important. I might have felt more in charge, more in control of my surroundings in Bothell, but it’s a misnomer. I was just as mortal there as I am here. And the same God who was with me there is with me here. I need only invite him to lead and be present …
Much love,
Tina
Oh the Monday morning chaos! It happens here in Australia too! 🙂 I always think of that book Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day- and how he wanted to move to Australia. And his mom said at the end of the book, there are bad days in Australia too. And she is so right- bad days everywhere, no escaping them. Chaos is part of rearing a family. We have about an hour and a half to get ready in the mornings before we have to be out of the house and try to miss traffic. And that hour and a half goes really fast. I finally made a board for the boys so they could get themselves sorted every morning and evening before bed in hopes to minimise some of the chaos. It’s kind of working. They know now what days they have to wear their dress or sports uniforms without me yelling at them to change because they’re in the wrong one, and they know what to pack in their bags every night for the day to come. We’re a work in progress 🙂 And just like that we’re about to start our 2 week Easter school break and all my organisation will go out the window 🙂 Here’s hoping you find Emma’s jacket before you have to buy another one. I always do that! Buy a new one and the old one is found. Love you!
Love you too! Glad to know we’re all in it together.
It’s the same here in the Netherlands too! Thanks T. As usual perfect timing….needed to read this today!
It’s not easy to corral kittens … our kids have minds of their own, don’t they?
Miss you,
Tina